But we still do need to eat in order to live. Jesus knows that, and so He points to the birds: “Look at the birds of the air…your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” In other words, if God provides for the little birds that fill the sky, he will certainly take care of His children – all those who trust in Him. Does this mean we should, like the birds, “neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns?” Not at all. God expects us to work for our meals, just as the birds seek their food in various ways (See 12Thessalonians 3:6-10). But we should not worry about having enough to eat. The contrast is not between activity and idleness, but between work and worry. So, as we go about our daily tasks, we can do so with thanksgiving for all God has given us, and confidence that He will continue to meet our needs.
First Things First
Notice the flow of Jesus’ thought: First, He pronounced a blessing on those who “hunger and thirst for righteousness.” Next, He told His disciples to ask their heavenly Father, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Then He instructed them in fasting, which is one way of expressing our desire for spiritual nourishment. After warning against seeking this world’s goods more than God, He now urges them not to worry about food and drink. His reason? “Is not life more than food?” First and foremost, we should long for that which sustains our soul, desiring spiritual food for what does not perish more than physical food for our mortal body. As Jesus told those whom He had fed by the side of the lake, we are not to be obsessed with getting “the food which perishes, but” aim first to acquire by faith “the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give” us (John 6:27). Our current sinful body will die, but the soul will survive for eternity. The question is, In what state? Where? In hell, or in heaven? In outer darkness, or in everlasting light? Eternally alienated from God our Maker, or enjoying endless happiness with Him? That is why Jesus warned His follower, not to” fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul, but rather fear Him who can destroy both soul and body in hell” ( Happiness comes from aiming at the right goals. Finding eternal life ought to be our highest priority. Everything else is secondary. “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.” After all, “Is not life more than food?” (Matthew 10:28).
Mammon’s Wages
When the Bible puts a “therefore” at the front of a sentence, we must ask, “Why? What does this sentence have to do with the previous words?” In this case, the question is, What connection does the command not to worry have with the observation that “You cannot serve God and Mammon”? At the start of this section on our attitude towards earthly possessions, Jesus said, “Do not lay up for your selves treasures on earth…” and then had given several reasons: All earthly “treasures” will either rot or be stolen. They dominate our thoughts and thus our heart. Focusing on them will plunge us into darkness, leading us to make foolish decisions. In the end, we shall be slaves of the love of money, worshipers of Mammon. And Mammon pays bad wages! “THEREFORE,” continues Jesus, don’t worry about material things. He will go on to add several more reasons not to be eaten by anxiety for the future, but the “therefore” should be enough to remind us that Mammon – money and what it can buy - does not deserve our loyalty, much less our love. This “god” is a useless idol, unable to help us, and fully capable of inflicting great harm upon his devotees. We see, then, that we will worship and serve either God or Mammon. If we choose the latter course, we shall be plagued with worry every day of our lives, and Jesus wants to deliver us from such bondage. Indeed, Jesus came to “save His people from their sins.” He opened the Sermon on the Mount with the so-called Beatitudes, which describe the truly happy, prosperous, “fortunate” person. God sent His Son so that we might have life, true life, abundant life, instead of the misery that imprisons all who are slaves to error and idolatry. Jesus came to set us free from worry and anxiety. Shall we not accept His invitation?
Only One Master
Most of us spend our lives investing in this world’s goods. All day long, we plan, work, and worry about getting enough possessions to live and even to live comfortably. In the process, we often neglect God and His kingdom. Jesus shows us the folly of such shortsightedness. For one thing, all earthly treasures will either decay or be stolen from us. Furthermore, the pursuit of things steals our heart and blinds our eyes to spiritual realities. Finally, we end up in bondage to a master who cannot satisfy and who cannot save us from eternal death. The alternative? Lay up treasures in heaven. But how? Jesus told the rich young ruler to “sell what you have and give to the poor… and come, follow Me” (Matthew 129:21). He instructed His disciples to care for the physical needs of other believers as if they were doing it to the Lord himself (Matthew 5:31-46). Paul warned those who were rich not to be proud, “nor to trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God… Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come…” (1 Timothy 6:17-19). The way to avoid being obsessed by a passion for prosperity is to know that “we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition” (1 Timothy 6:7-9). How, then, should we use our money? Give as much as possible to the work of the Gospel; relieve the needs of poor believers; care for our families; avoid extravagance and waste; invest wisely, not seeking quick or inordinate profits, but attempting to be wise managers of what God has given us. Above all, we should “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,” knowing that “all these things [i.e., our daily needs] will be added to” us in God’s good time (Matthew 6:33). The bottom line: We must choose between two masters: God, or Mammon.
Deliver Us From Evil
What is the evil from which we need deliverance? In Matthew’s Gospel alone, we encounter wicked, murderous kings; illness of all sorts; demonic influence; and sin. Behind all these lurks Satan, who is called “the evil one.” Thus, it does not matter whether we translate the original Greek “from evil,” or “from the evil one” – both are possible – because all evil is somehow related to sin, and all sin has some connection with Satan. Why should we pray for deliverance? Because evil is bad! The Bible insists upon the radical distinction between good and evil; virtue and vice; light and darkness; life and death; God and Satan. With wickedness, there can be no truce, cease-fire, peace treaty, or even negotiations. Jesus came to “save His people from their sins,” and to “destroy the works of the devil.” We ask God to save us from evil because we cannot save ourselves. Even with marvelous advances in medical science, illness often leads to disability and death. Tyrants still oppress and kill. And, despite the doubts of skeptical (and inexperienced) moderns, evil spirits still harass and even possess people. Worst of all, sin holds sway in our hearts unless and until Jesus comes to set us free. We pray for liberation from evil because God can save! He made the world through His mighty Word, who became the God-man Jesus, the Christ. Jesus healed the sick and cast out demons. He defeated Satan on the cross and rose victoriously to ascend to God’s right hand, whence He rules the entire universe for the sake of the church. Someday, He will return in glory and create a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells. How, then, should we offer this prayer to God? With persistence, until He hears and answers. With faith, that He is both willing and able to save. With thanksgiving for past deliverances. And with praise, for the decisive victory in the war against evil has already been won at the Cross and the resurrection of Christ.
Temptation and Prayer
Why does Jesus teach His disciples to pray like this? Because He knows that Satan prowls around, “like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Meanwhile, we are vulnerable to the enemy’s wiles, because “the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41) Indeed, in our flesh “nothing good dwells” (Romans 7:18). Jesus knows, too, that “the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations” (2 Peter 2:9). We can “be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might” (Ephesians 6:10) – but only in the Lord, not in ourselves. Thus, we pray for divine help. What does Jesus teach them to pray? That we may not be led into temptation, as He was in the wilderness. He has borne the fury of Satan’s attacks. He knows the subtle arguments which the devil uses to divert our eyes from God, disbeliever His Word, doubt His promises, and disobey His commands. How does He want us to pray these words? With alertness: “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation,” He warned His sleepy disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:41). When we are hungry, as He was in the desert; or tired, as His followers were in the Garden, then we must be especially alert. We need to be aware of our own particular, personal, weaknesses, and to pray with special fervor when these appear. More than that, we must stand guard at all times, “for the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:16). No one enjoys immunity from Satan’s wiles, not even the most mature believer. “Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10:12). Nor should we ask to be kept from temptation if we are rushing headlong into it! “Flee idolatry” “Flee fornication” warns the Apostle. Jesus Himself states the issue starkly: “If your right eye (or hand) causes you to sin, pluck it out (or cut it off) and cast if from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30). Oh, may we learn to pray as Jesus did, with bloody sweat, that the Lord’s will be done, and that we be delivered from temptation and sin!
How To Receive Forgiveness
Having taught us how to ask for what usually most concerns us – our material needs – Jesus now shows us how to pray for what most concerns Him – our spiritual needs. After all, the angel said that Jesus came to “save His people from their sins” (Matthew 1:26). Knowing that there is one “who can cast soul and body in hell,” He tells us how to become reconciled with the Judge of all mankind. For we have offended a holy God, and He has declared that “the soul that sins shall die.” We owe Him a debt which we can never repay. Only if He forgives this debt can we escape eternal punishment. But Jesus knew that He would pay that price; He would redeem His people by His own blood; He would satisfy God’s righteous anger by offering Himself as a sacrifice for sin. Thus, He authorized His followers to approach God as Father, simply asking for pardon. It’s that simple! All we have to do is admit, and renounce, our sins (repent), and trust in Christ as the “lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” (believe the Gospel), and we shall be saved from God’s wrath. How, then, should we pray for forgiveness? - With humility, not trying to hold on to any shred of righteousness, for we have none (Romans 3:21-24; 7:18; Philippians 3:9). - With childlike trust in God’s promise. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins” (1 John 1:9). - With charity towards those who have hurt us. Remember the clause, “As we forgive our debtors.” God does not forgive us because we forgive others; His pardon comes without cost to us. But His mercy falls only upon those who realize their own sins and receive His grace. The sure sign of whether we have true repentance and faith is whether we can sincerely forgive those who have offended us. “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).
Asking for Bread
Jesus here teaches His disciples to ask their heavenly Father for all their material needs. Notice that: - We are told to pray for what we need. That does not mean that we do not plan, or work, for the necessities of life. But we must not worry about them (as we so often do!). Jesus said, “Do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or What shall we wear?’… But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:32-33). Nor must we think that our efforts will automatically bring results. “Every good and every perfect gift is from above, and comes from the Father of lights…” (James 1:17). - We are told to pray for “our needs, not our greeds” (D.A. Carson). Necessities, not luxuries. Bread, not champagne and caviar. God does not promise to provide the biggest house, newest car, most fashionable clothes, or most expensive vacations. “And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition” (1 Timothy 6:9). - We are to ask for daily provision. “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34). Like the Israelites in the wilderness, we must look for no more than what we require each day. If we ask with this attitude, we can be sure that our Father, “who knows the things [we] have need of before [we] ask Him,” will, like any good father, give us every “good gift” (Matthew 7:11).
What Is God’s Will?
How can we know what God wants us to do? Are there any reliable clues to His will for our lives? Certainly! Here are a few basic ingredients: - Suffering: “For to you it has been g ranted on behalf of Christ, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake” (Philippians 1:29). “Therefore, since Christ suffered for us in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same mind [purpose]” (1 Peter 4:1). Note: We are not to suffer for doing wrong, but for doing what is right (1 Peter 4:15-16). - Sacrifice: “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God” (Romans 12:1). - Self-denial: “He who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me” (Matthew 10:38). “If any one desires to come after Me, let him deny him self, and take up his cross, and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). - Sanctification. “This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians). Any sex before or outside of marriage cannot be God’s will for us, nor any intimate relationship with anyone other than one’s spouse if we are married. - Service: “As each one has received a gift, minister it to one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God”(1 Peter 4:10). “Through love serve one another” (Galatians 5:13). “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4). - Submission: “Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7). - Satisfaction: “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Now we see why Jesus told us to pray, “Your will be done,” for none of these attitudes and actions come naturally to us. We need the grace of God to know and do His will. Here also we have the perfect example, however. In the Garden of Gethsemane, facing such horrible physical, mental, and spiritual pain that we cannot even imagine, Jesus prayed, “Nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will” (Matthew 26:39). God heard His prayer, and He will hear ours, so let us pray daily, “Your will be done.”
A Brief History of Prayer
Jesus assumed that His disciples would pray, because they were Jews. Ever since their great ancestor Abraham, the Hebrew people had learned to call upon their God for help in time of need. Abraham prayed for the innocent people living in Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18). His grandson Jacob begged for protection from his angry brother (Genesis 32:11). Faced with a daunting task, Gideon asked for guidance (Judges 6:22, 36- 39). Barren Hannah asked for a child (1 Samuel 1:10). King David responded to God’s promise of an everlasting dynasty with thanksgiving and petition (2 Samuel 7). His son Solomon asked for wisdom, and received that plus long life and wealth (1Kings 3:5-14). King Hezekiah received healing and extra years by simply asking God (2 Kings 20:1-8). The list goes on and on. Repentant Manasseh and Jonah were delivered from the full penalty for their disobedience. Ezra and Nehemiah found wisdom, strength, protection, and provision to rebuild fallen Jerusalem. Daniel received supernatural revelation. The Old Testament is filled with prayer, notably in the Psalms, but also throughout the length and breadth of the histories and prophets. Why? Because God enjoys giving good gifts to His people. He knows what we need, but likes to have us ask Him for it anyway. Indeed, He commanded Israel to pray: “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify Me” (Psalm 50:15). God receives honor when we call upon Him to demonstrate His power and His pity. More glory comes to Him when we praise Him for his answers to our humble, believing requests. No wonder Jesus assumed that His disciples would pray!
Jesus Prayed
Jesus assumed that His disciples would draw near to God in prayer. He did not debate such issues as why we should pray if God knows everything, or tell us why God sometimes does not give us what we want. He simply taught His people how to pray. He also set us an example. Though He was the eternal Son of God, equal with the Father in power and glory, yet as a man he humbly offered His requests to God. In other words, He practiced what He preached about prayer. He did not pray so that others could see, but withdrew to the wilderness or some other deserted place. Sometimes, He prayed at night, presumably to have privacy. Nor did He multiply needless words. In the Garden of Gethsemane, when facing His greatest trial, He simply asked to be kept from suffering God’s wrath if that were possible, but otherwise that God’s will be done(Matthew 26:39,42). Jesus prayed for himself, and He prayed for others, but He prayed particularly for God’s name to be glorified (John 12:28). Jesus prayed before He chose His twelve disciples. He prayed that the Father would raise Lazarus from the dead. He requested protection from total apostasy for Peter. In His great “Highly Priestly Prayer” recoded in John 17, He asked the Father to keep the disciples from the Evil One; give them unity; sanctify them by His word; and bring them into glory. He prayed with great intensity, especially on that last dreadful night when He knew He had been betrayed and would soon face the hatred of His enemies. The agony of His intercessions brought blood out through His pores. This was no parlor game; it was spiritual warfare with a deadly foe. That is why He “offered up prayers and supplications with vehement cries and tears…” (Hebrews 5:7) The Father heard and answered the prayers of Jesus “because of His godly fear” (Hebrews 5:7). Not only all throughout His life (John 11:41-42), but also at the end. No, the cup of God’s wrath did not pass from His lips. But God’s will was accomplished: Jesus was granted strength to complete the work of salvation by going all the way up to the Cross and then staying there until He had fully satisfied the righteous anger of God against sinful men. This Jesus is the same one who said, “When you pray…” Jesus prayed. Let us follow in His steps to the quiet place where a gracious Father waits to meet a humble, trusting soul.
Whom Does God Reward?
According to Jesus, those who perform good works in order to be seen by others, and thus to gain glory, will receive a reward. They get what they want: Glory from men. “They have their reward,” Jesus wryly remarks. In other words, they have already gained what they sought, which is a good reputation on earth. On the other hand, those who give to the poor or who pray to God in secret get a better reward. Since they seeking only to please God, not men, they allow only Him to know what they are doing. In return, He will reward them. He will answer their prayers and grant to them all that they really need. He will draw them ever deeper into intimate communion with Himself. He will give them peace of mind, since they know that He will take care of them. Finally, He will give them an inheritance in the eternal kingdom when Jesus returns to establish a new heaven and a new earth. So, let us look deeper at these people whom God rewards. They seek glory from God, not men. They are not looking for “face” or reputation among fellow sinners. They do not have their eyes focused on what is seen, but in Him who is unseen. They seek an eternal, rather than a temporary, happiness. What drives them? How can they escape the constant pressure to please people and not God? In one word, faith! They believe God’s word, especially His promises. They trust that He will do what He has said He will for those who rely on Him alone. They believe that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him (Hebrews 11:6). They walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). They shut out the noises of this world and enter into their private place of quiet contemplation; there, they hear the still, small voice of God (1 Kings 19:12). They are poor in spirit; they mourn their sins; they are meek before God, demanding nothing but His presence and favor; they hunger and thirst for righteousness. They trust not in themselves or in other finite and fallen creatures, but in the Creator, Sustainer, and Redeemer of the world. They come to God empty handed, with nothing to offer but their poverty and their praise. They look to Him and to Him alone. As a handmaiden looks to her mistress, so they look to their God – for direction, provision, protection. They lean on Him, rely on Him, depend on Him, trust in Him. These are the ones whom God richly rewards!
Talking to Your Father
Followers of Jesus Christ have a unique privilege: They may know God as Father. Though the Old testament refers to God as the Father of Israel as a nation, almost nowhere do we find pre-Christian Jews referring to God as their own personal Father. When Jesus came, He brought with Him the revelation that the Maker of the universe, the Ruler of the kings of the earth, the Savior of His people, is a heavenly Father. Jesus also told us what kind of Father our God has shown Himself to be: - “In secret”. God is invisible. He is a Spirit, without a body. He cannot be known except by self-revelation. That is why reason and religion cannot lead us to God. He can only be known through His Word and Spirit as these come to us from God alone. - “In heaven”. He is a transcendent God. Though we are made in His image, and thus like Him, in many ways, He far exceeds us even in those qualities which we share with Him, such as intelligence and goodness. He possesses infinite power, wisdom, and authority. He governs the world according to His own good purposes, with none to hinder Him. He dwells in inapproachable light, for He is righteous, holy, and pure. - All knowing: He knows what we need even before we ask. He also knows what is best for us, and how and when to grant what we need (6:8,32). - Generous. Otherwise, why would Jesus say, “Your Father… will reward you”? Later, He told the disciples that will “give good gifts to those who ask Him” (7:11). He seems to enjoy showering presents upon His children on earth. He gives “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us” (Ephesians 3:20). To know this God as Father, through faith in Jesus His Son, is eternal life (John 17:3). To draw near to Him in open and unhindered communication is the greatest privilege on earth!
Why Pray?
In one sentence, Jesus tells us why to pray: God will reward us. In other words Those who pray to God receive some sort of benefits. The letter to the Hebrews puts it this way: “He who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). Does this mean that God always answers our prayers in the way that we would wish or expect? No! Paul prayed without success three times for his thorn in the flesh to be removed 2 Corinthians 12:8-9). James says we can fail to get what we request because we “ask amiss” (James 4:3). Even Jesus’ plea in the Garden of Gethsemane that “this cup pass” from Him was denied (Matthew 26:39-44), though God granted His desire for that “Your will be done.” Nevertheless, Jesus says, “Ask, and it will be given to you…If you, being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” (Matthew 7:7, 11). What kind of reward awaits those who pray? First, God may give us what we ask, as Jesus said in the words quoted above. After all, why would He instruct His disciples in prayer, even telling them what sort of things to seek from God, if the Father had no intention of responding? Second, the Lord may give us “exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think”(Ephesians 3:20), as He did for young King Solomon (1 Kings 3:5-13). Jesus not only healed a paralytic, but forgave his sins (Matthew 9:2). Third, our wise and loving Father may give us something other, but far better, than what we request. Though Paul’s thorn was not removed, yet he received the promise of God’s grace each day and the ongoing demonstration of God’s power through his weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). Jesus did not arrive in time to heal Lazarus, as his sisters desired, but waited until He could demonstrate His might by raising their brother from the dead (John 11:1-44). Most of all, however, prayer brings us into communion with our God. We draw near to Him in prayer, by faith in His word. “Whom have I in heaven but You? There is none upon earth that I desire besides You…But it is good for me to draw near to God” [or, “the nearness of God is my good”] (Psalm 73:25, 28). Through prayer we enjoy intimacy with God through Jesus Christ, by the Holy Spirit. What greater reward could there be?
My Enemy, My Friend
Actually, my “enemy” is my friend. Think about it: When someone mistreats me, my reaction reveals the state of my heart. All too often, I respond with anger. If my anger were only outrage because God’s holiness had been violated, there would be no sin. Usually, however, other forces are at work, such as pride, selfishness, fear, self-protection, ambition, passion, and the like. Had my goals not been blocked or my idols assaulted, I would not have known how much I love this world and how little I love God and the people He has put around me. With the motives of my heart thus unveiled, I see my sin more clearly. My conscience rebukes me, the Spirit of God convicts me of wrong, and I fly once more to Christ for mercy. A deeper awareness of my spiritual poverty and perilous position before God impels me to the throne of grace, where I discover more of God’s forgiveness than I had known before. Contemplating both God’s command that I love my “enemy,” and my utter inability to obey, I ask for divine assistance. Little by little – and sometimes all at once – God’s mighty Spirit transforms the beast inside me into something less wild and wicked, something with a bit more patience, kindness, and forbearance. God thus demonstrates His immense power to change sinners, and receives even more praise. Then again, my “enemy,” by taking away what I hold dear or preventing me from gaining something I cherish, gives me an opportunity to loosen my grip on what is visible, and pursue what is invisible. His unjust action forces me to seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, for I can no longer find satisfaction in anything else. Just as I can’t know how much the things of this world imprison me until I am deprived of what I so fervently desire, so I can only discover the riches of God’s goodness and abundance when I pursue Him with the intensity of a starving beggar. “Rich” men do not “need” God; they are full and satisfied. Only the “poor” seek – and find! – Him in all His wealth of wisdom, power, and love. By making me “poor,” my enemy has opened the door for me to enter the treasury of the Lord. Large portions of the Bible are now illuminated to me. The Psalms, with their urgent cries for deliverance; the history of the early church and the epistles of the Apostles; but most of all, the Passion narratives at the end of each Gospel. Of course, there is no way that I can feel what Jesus felt in front of the jealous Jewish leaders, with His friends in fearful flight. The distance between His deity and my humanity, and His purity and my perversity, prevent me from tasting the bitterness of the cup He drank on the Cross. Nevertheless, without intending to, the person who hurts me, even hates me, has brought me into a closer, richer, and everlasting communion with Christ. Thus, my enemy is my best earthly friend.
Who Is the Real “Enemy”?
Jesus’ words strike to the core of our heart. He exposes our inability to love the unlovely, much less to love those who hate us or hurt us. In the previous verses, He told His disciples not to resist one who is evil. Now He demands something even harder: An active attitude of kindness for those who are mean or uncaring towards us. His reason? That we may be like our Father in heaven, who bestows earthly benefits on “good” and “bad” people alike. If we think about it, God has treated us the way Jesus tells us to treat others: “When we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son”(Romans 5:10). How can we do less for others? Perhaps more than any other command, this requirement that we love those who do not love us, or who do not treat us well, demonstrates just why we needed Christ to die for us. More than that, our ongoing difficulty in loving the unlovely proves how much we stand in need of daily forgiveness by God. How do we usually respond to those who do not love us? By withdrawal, coldness, anger, bitterness, resentment. Does this not reveal the essential lack of love in our own hearts? Does that not disqualify us from a critical attitude towards our “enemies”? Notice the application of this teaching to marriage and family relationships. So often, we are disappointed and hurt when those closest to us do not satisfy our desires for affection and care. But then our response puts us into the same category! In fact, perhaps they are not as good to us as we would like partly because we have in some way also disappointed them? Jesus will not let us linger in the realm of self-pity; he absolutely forbids self-righteousness. He will have our full obedience, preceded by our humble admission that we, too, are “enemies” who desperately need His constant love.
Words That Count
Jesus had told His disciples not to swear oaths falsely and not to swear frivolously, by invoking heaven, earth, Jerusalem, or one’s own head, as contemporaries did. With these two principles, He puts boundaries on the use of our tongues. On the one hand, we are to avoid falsehood and speak only the truth. As an extreme case, He forbids us to make an affirmation that we know is false. By extension, He forbids also breaking promises we have kept. In other words, our words must be reliable. They must be true and trustworthy. If we state something, it should be accurate. If we make a commitment, we should honor it. Followers of Jesus will keep their marriage vows. They will swear to their own hurt and not change (Psalm 15:4). They will not renege on a contract. They will not undertake obligations lightly, but they will fulfill those they do undertake. On the other hand – and as condition for keeping our word – we are to avoid unnecessary speech. Jesus’ brother James, whose short letter often echoes the Sermon on the Mount, admonished, “Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (1:19), and pointed out the evils caused by an unbridled tongue. Indeed, he says that “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (1:26). Paul urged the Ephesian Christians, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification [building others up], that it may impart grace to the hearers” (4:29). Healso warned against the dangers of foolish jesting (5:4). Nine hundred years earlier, King Solomon had advised, “Let your words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2). More pointedly, he observed that “the fool multiplies words” (10:14)…He who restrains his words has knowledge…Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 17:27; 29:20). In sum: Avoid false and frivolous speech, and we shall avoid a great deal of folly.
Defeating Divorce (5)
If divorce is not an option, what does God want us to do with an unhappy marriage? Does He just want us to suffer without relief? Is He cruel and sadistic? Does He not want us to be happy in this life? Let us return to basics. God has created us to know and love Him. Our purpose in this life is to live for His glory, especially the glory of His grace (Ephesians 1:6,12). He does not intend for us to enjoy a pain-free existence on this earth, but allows us to suffer in many ways. We may have a bodily illness, as Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” may have been (2 Corinthians 12:7). Sooner or later, “all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3:12). We may have to watch loved ones fall ill and die. And we may just face constant frustration in relationships, including marriage, because we live in a world that has been “subjected to futility [frustration]” because of the Fall (Romans 8:20). God has many purposes for suffering. These include refining our faith and exposing its genuineness (1 Peter 1:6-7). Perhaps He wants to round out our faith, by causing us to trust Him in new ways, or maybe He intends to make us more patient (James 1:2-4). Since we are still burdened with what Paul calls the “flesh,” we wrestle with evil passions and desires. Usually, we are unaware of these, but a close relationship like marriage, in which our wants conflict with those of another, brings them out. Only then can we see just how sinful we are. Remember that God’s ultimate goal is to make us holy, as He is holy (Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 1:16). He will use any means to accomplish this end. Because of the deceptiveness of the heart, we don’t recognize our inner idols until someone deprives us of them. God liberates us from bondage to false “gods” by bringing our idolatry to light so that we can repent, receive forgiveness, and be transformed. Above all, our Lord has called us to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, who suffered innocently (1 Peter 1:21). How can we demonstrate the unconditional love of Christ to others unless we are forced to love the unlovely, even when it hurts? Marriage offers us the ideal opportunity to imitate our suffering Savior!
Defeating Divorce (4)
Divorce moves in two directions, as we have seen: Away from the current spouse, and towards someone else who seems better. People contemplating divorce long for the death of their marriage and are filled with desire for another, ”better,” one. Not all those who want to dissolve their marriage have an alternate lover, though many do. Others entertain fantasies of someone more loving, caring, attractive, and desirable. In either case, they are victims of self-deceit (and maybe actual deceit by the new lover). They vainly believe that they made a mistake with the first partner, and that there is another person more suited for them. They consider only the attractive qualities of their real or imagined future spouse. Just as they did when in love the first time, they imagine that they have found the right person, one who will make them happy. They overlook the faults and failings of the prospective replacement for their now-unattractive spouse. What they forget is that romantic love is based on an illusion. Charm and beauty in a woman lead a man to believe that she is good and kind and sweet, and will be cooperative. Kindness, attentiveness, and competence in a man create the conviction in a woman that he will love her as her current husband does not. Or, if the new man lives only in her mind, she fantasizes life with someone who neither does not exist, nor could not. The brutal fact is that we are all sinners! We are self-centered, proud, lazy, lustful, and consumed with our own covetous cravings. These selfish desires hinder – or prevent – us from loving another as we should (Galatians 5:16-21). Thus, both we and anyone we marry will struggle with constant conflict. It doesn’t matter who lives with us, for two sinners in one house will inevitably collide. That is perhaps one reason Jesus spoke of divorce after He taught that adultery proceeds from lust in the heart (Matthew 5:27-30). He knew that only contentment with God’s provision, including our current mate, will enable us to love the person in front of us and avoid illusory alternatives. The remedy? To focus on our own faults, not those of our spouse (7:1-6). To pray for God to change both us and them (6:9 -13; 7:7-12). To hunger and thirst for righteousness, not earthly “happiness” (5:6; 6:33). To trust God as our heavenly Father, who will provide all we really need (6:8).
Defeating Divorce (3)
Looking more closely at the immediate context of Jesus’ words, we see that divorce moves in two directions: Away from our current marriage, and towards another, "better,” one. Even if they no one else in mind, most who divorce do so with the expectation of remarriage to someone more suitable. Let us look at the first direction: Those who contemplate divorce want to distance themselves from their current spouse. They look for the death of the marriage. In fact, they may long for the death of their mate! Sometimes that desire manifests itself in fantasy (“If my husband died, then I could remarry…”), and sometimes in an exaggerated fear (“I’m so afraid he is going to die of a heart attack!). Usually, there are two reasons why we might want our marriage to dissolve: Denial and damage. When our spouse denies us something we think we need, then we become very angry. We may perceive this as hurt, but it quickly turns to resentment, even bitterness. Just as murder issues from the heart (5:21-22), so the urge to kill our marriage comes from deep dissatisfaction. If a wife does not receive affection, or attention, or care, or provision, or leadership from her husband, she will lose heart. After a long period of unmet expectations, she loses hope. Along the way, she has lost whatever love she may have initially had for him. The husband goes through a similar process if his wife denies him sexual satisfaction, either by withholding herself or by becoming unattractive to him. Men desire respect and admiration almost as much as they do sex. If she also does not afford him companionship or support in his work, and if she neglects her domestic duties, resentment and bitterness will build in his heart, too. If damage is added to denial, then the reaction will be even worse. Utter abandonment (perhaps through irresponsibility) and outright meanness (in words or deeds) will crush a woman’s spirit and cause her to want to run away. Likewise, criticism and contempt will so enrage a man that he will distance himself as much as possible from his wife. The remedy? Jesus told us to pursue reconciliation (5:23-26; 18:15 -16). He taught us to turn the other cheek (5:38-42), and to love our “enemies,” blessing them, doing good to them, and praying for them (5:43-48). Above all, He commanded us to forgive, just as God has forgiven us (6:12,14-15).